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All Your Base

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'Tis the Season

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from televisions everywhere, that all the world should be fed until bloated. And all went to be fed, everyone to his own city. And Tim also went up from Spencerport, out of the city called Ogden, into Webster, unto the city of Rochester to be fed with Kim his virtual wife, being great with children. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that they should be delivered unto Colleen's house. And Colleen brought forth her feast of several meals, and wrapped Tim in lasagna potatoes, pork, and corn, and laid him on a couch; because there was no room for him in the dining room.

And there were in the same home relatives abiding in the family room, keeping watch over their hours dourves by night. And, lo, the angel of the Dessert Course came upon them, and the glory of the Cheesecake shone about them; and they were so afraid. And the angel said to them,

Fear not: for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born today in the city of Rochester a delicacy, which is Apple Pie. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the confection wrapped in foil, lying in an oven.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly cookies praising Gluttony and saying

Glory to Cholesterol in the highest, and on earth piece (of pie), good leftovers towards men.

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into the neighbors, the family said to one another,

Let us go even unto Webster, and see this thing that has come to represent our expansive bellies, which the dinner has made grown to us.

And they came with haste, and found, Kim, Tim and the girls in a food coma. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this joyous travesty. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the family. But Tim kept all these things, and pondered them in his swollen gullet. And the family returned, glorifying and praising Gluttony for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

The Gospel according to St. Puke Chapter 2 verses 1-20.

News Feed Enabled

For any of you who would like to pick this blog up on your news readers, we are now Atom 1.0 enabled. IE7 and Firefox 2.0 both support this natively, and there are lots of third party readers out there as well. Most readers will handle Atom or RSS. If you really need an RSS 2.0 feed, just change "atom.xml" to "rss.xml" in the link. That should work. The tool generates both feeds, but Blogger only auto-generates the Atom tags/links on the page. Yes, yes... I know I could put the RSS links in manually, but I was kind of waiting to see if anyone couldn't cope with Atom. So feel free to complain. I'm bound to get bored sometime next week.

To subscribe to blog entries, just click the "Atom" link at the top of the right-hand column next to "Posts". Then do whatever you usually do to subscribe to feeds in whatever tool you use.

Enjoy! Let me know if anyone experiences a problem.

A New Twist on Machiavelli

Back in 1515, Niccolo Machiavelli wrote in his infamous pamphlet, The Prince, that the end justifies the means. Ironically, the pamphlet did not really reflect Machiavelli's views, but was written to curry favor with the political administration, who found the message so offensive it fired him. It is maybe history's worst attempt to suck up. Pity poor Niccolo who's name is now inexorably bonded to corrupt totalitarian governments.

But history lesson aside, there is some merit to Machiavelli's legacy. Not that an end goal orientation and means be damned philosophy is any way to treat your family, friends, neighbors, or electorate. But there are times where it is a prudent way to deal with outside parties with whom there is no common cultural or values based reference point. Let me explain.

In anthropological terms, altruism is usually explained as an evolved cultural "pay it forward" strategy. I'll be nice to you now, and you'll do something for me or my kids at some point in the future. It is this behavioral root which gives us The Golden Rule. And where there is a shared set of values or culture, doing unto others as you would have them do unto you is good advice. Those others will value your actions and reciprocate in a way that you will value.

However, when dealing with those with whom you do not share that common set of values, The Golden Rule is folly. They will not value what you do, and may even find it offensive. And you will likely have a similar reaction to their actions. There are two possible ways of dealing with these situations. If there is ultimately a goal of establishing a relationship, then, in the truest spirit of diversity, you need to become fluent enough in the other's culture so that you can behave in a way that they value. This obviously works best when they have a similar goal and are willing to become acclimated to your values as well. But there are cases where there is no desire or cooperation toward creating any sort of relationship. You may still need to do business of some sort with the others, but this arrangement is limited to pay-as-you-go interactions. And this is where Machiavelli comes into play. In these situations, you are focused on a specific end result. And while the means to that end may take some uncomfortable paths, paths that may offend your own sense of justice and fair play, it's important to stay focused on the reality that justice and fair play are culturally dependent, and therefore not really the point. You just need a result. Yet the means should not violate your own sense of morality. There still need to be limits that allow you to view yourself as a good person.

I learned this lesson through a painful personal experience, but I think it applies beyond the interpersonal arena and even into foreign policy. I think one of the reasons we find ourselves in the Iraqi quagmire is a catastrophic failure on the part of Bush, Cheney, Bremer, Wolfowitz, and others to recognize that that we do not share a common set of values with Middle Eastern cultures. Bush's central tenet was that we would go into Iraq, liberate them, and bring them democracy. He couldn't see that they would not value that. This culturally myopic view plagues Bush still.

At present, I think Bush cannot stomach the idea of discussions with Iran and Syria because it offends his sense of justice and fair play. They don't deserve to have us talk to them. Similarly, "victory" (a word he seems maniacally focused on) constitutes a stable and peaceful democracy in Iraq. In essence, we'll be done once the Iraqis have adopted American values. This is folly. We need Iraq in specific and the Middle East in general to be peaceful enough that the oil we depend on continues to flow. That is the end state. (Arguably, it was also the beginning state, circa 2002, but we screwed that up.) We should be open to nearly any means to reachieve that stability. As I said above, there have to be limits based on our morality. For example, it would be immoral to reinstate Saddam. But opening talks with Iran and Syria merely require us to forgo our overly developed sense of justice. Similarly, incenting/threatening the fledgling Iraqi government to take the steps necessary to allow our exit are not immoral. Uncomfortable maybe, but we need to stay focused on the end state, and explore any morally justifiable ways to get there.

Niccolo might like that his legacy could be used to achieve peace.

Life Is A Bed of Ro... Wait, Wait... What?

The National Academy of Sciences, in an attempt to prove the Bush Administration's assertion that science is a pointless waste of tax dollars, released a report indicating that people in a happy mood are more creative. I'm pretty sure a quick survey around any local faculty room could have arrived at that same conclusion, but have only cost a box of donuts.

However, the report also notes that being in a good mood tends to make us more distracted. Which obviously means I have the happiest kids on Earth. Hmmm... maybe there's merit in the study after all.

What' In a Bible?

Much has been made of late about Keith Ellison's insistance that he be sworn in as a U.S. Congressman on the Koran rather than a Bible. As a Muslim, his request is understandable. Still, traditionalists and those who feel that we are a Christian nation are up in arms over this "anti American" request.

Now there's a lot of good points made about the Constitution expressly forbidding a religious test to hold an elected office. That would seem to mean that while a tradition, swearing on the bible is not a legal requirement. But legalities aside, I think everyone is missing the larger point.

The reason we want someone to swear on a Bible is based on a belief that while someone might be inclined to lie to another person, they would be less likely to lie to God. The hand on the bible is a visceral reminder that the vow you are taking is not just before your peers, it is before and in witness of, God.

But if you are Muslim, of what significance is the Bible? The whole point is that the swearer should feel the presence of God while he swears. The Bible does not invoke that feeling in a Muslim. The Koran does. For crying in your beer, we want this guy to swear on a Koran. It has meaning for him, the meaning we desire. For him, swearing on the bible is as significant as swearing on Thursday's edition of USA Today.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the mechanics of ritualism, we forget why the ritual exists. The motions become more important than the meaning. And we become sheep, blissfully tended by shepherds long sice dead. Assuming that the worn paths in the fields represent their wisdom, and losing their larger purpose to the ether.

Bleat for me...

Revenge of the Hygienist

Way back when I was in for my dental cleaning, the hygienist was admonishing me for my lack of ritual flossing. Yes, yes, I know I'm supposed to, but I didn't grow up flossing, I don't like it, and well... I could go on rationalizing, but the reality is, I just don't. But I admitted that to her. Honesty should count for something, right?

Anyway, this is the same girl that spotted my cracked tooth which resulted in me having to to be ground and fit with a new crown. I don't have the final fake tooth yet, and have been sporting this temporary crown that I've decided is my hygienist's revenge.

You see, the damn thing is a wee too small. There's enough room behind this puppy to park half a ham sandwich and a '69 Buick. The result is that after eating pretty much anything, I need to break out the floss. Damn her! She's more clever than I ever imagined

Only In Texas

AP News reports on Mon Dec 11, 3:32 PM ET

AUSTIN, Texas - A lawmaker in this firearm-friendly state wants to help more people get the chance to shoot live animals — even if those people can't see.

A bill filed for the 2007 legislative session would permit legally blind hunters to use laser sights, or lighted pointing instruments.

"This opens up the fun of hunting to additional people, and I think that's great," said Republican Rep. Edmund Kuempel, the bill's sponsor.

Visually impaired people are allowed to shoot now with the aid of a sighted person, he said, a requirement that would continue if the sights were legalized.

"I've seen this on TV before, when they're taking target practice," Kuempel said. "When they aim the gun, the guide tells them, aim two inches higher or two inches lower and you're on the target, and you're off and running."

Kuempel's bill would give the state until Jan. 1, 2008, to come up with a definition of legally blind so the law could be enforced.

Under existing law, the use of laser sights, spotlights and headlights is strictly prohibited in all Texas hunting. The practice can have the effect of making animals stand still as the light shines on them. Hunters using sights under the proposed legislation would have to carry proof that they are legally blind.

The Legislature convenes Jan. 9 for its 140-day session.

You can't make this stuff up...

Kofi Creamed

I should know better than to link to Fox News, but what the heck. Apparently Fox has uncovered an advance copy of a speech that Kofi Annan will be giving today. Fox reports that, the speech shows Annan is expected to accuse the U.S. administration of committing human rights abuses in the name of fighting terrorism, and of taking military action without broad international support.

The horror... This blog has also learned that Kofi will strongly "accuse" Goldie Hawn of being a blonde, and in a scathing lambaste, will also "accuse" certain Kraft cheese products of being Crumbelievable. Honestly, Fox should really go back to covering flag burnings and gay weddings.

Why Do Liberals Hate [insert motherhood issue here]??

Kim brings us a guest rant by local columnist Kevin Frisch called All You Need Is Hate. Inconceivably, to the Rush Limbaugh crowd, he opines that all liberals are not evil incarnate. It's an interesting illumination of the "you're either with us or you're in league with Satan" strategy employed by the radical right. Definitely worth a read.

Spam Alert

The spammers have finally arrived. I rather suspected this would happen. Automated programs running around the Net have begun to leave comments on this blog. While I welcome all opinions, invitations for insurance estimates and penis enlargements we can live without.

To that end, I have enabled a "scribble" on the comments page. You can still post anonymously (or not), but it will require you to copy the letters from a visual scribble into a box for verification prior to allowing you to save your post. I'm sure you've encountered similar things on other web sites.

I did try to remove any unwelcome comments. If you find any spam comments I missed, please drop me an email with the entry title and post date and I'll clean 'em up. Sorry for the inconvenience, but it's the world we live in.

Well Isn't That Just (im)Peachy

For the last several years, Bush has railed against the Democrats in particular and the anti-war movement in general to proffer an alternative solution to "staying the course" in Iraq. He was right, there was limited value in just grousing. We were already there. That ship had sailed. And the overly simplistic "bring our troops home" was a puddle-deep idea which had a nice marketing angle to it, but was arguably a last resort, throw in the towel and let the region implode strategy. We needed something a little more sophisticated than that.

Enter James Baker and the Iraq Study Group, a bipartisan panel of top notch experts charged with trying to wend some path out of the quagmire. While admitting that aspects of the situation are intractable, they did offer up a plausible strategy which might result in a more positive situation. Given that even Donald Rumsfeld has now concluding that the current strategy is failing, why not give this a try? After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So we'd be insane to not at least give it a whirl.

But no. Bush has flatly rejected some of the key tent-poles of the strategy. And Baker has emphasized that this proposal is not a "fruit salad" where Bush can just cherry-pick certain ideas that appeal to him. It is a comprehensive plan. The Baker team study was clearly the political cover that Bush could have used to alter course in Iraq and still maintain some political credibility. But he's not willing to humble himself even that far.

There is one opportunity looming - Robert Gates. Gates' public declaration that the nation was not winning the war — contradicting President Bush's October 25 statement that "absolutely, we're winning" is a hopeful indication that Gates is not as clueless as his boss. Bush expressed confidence in Gates, and again, could use Gates' recommendations for political cover to enact a strategic shift in policy.

Failing that, I think that as a nation we need to consider the impeachment option. I have been against impeachment as I desperately wish to stop the cycle of political witch-hunts that have hopelessly mired our political process. But I believe that this is an application of impeachment as it was intended in The Constitution. If Bush fails to change course, he will have exhibited reckless disregard for the wellbeing of the country as well as the will of the people he serves. That makes him dangerous, and therefore he must go - if only for the safety of the rest of us. We cannot afford to have him ride out his term doing what he is doing.

My hope is that merely the viable threat of impeachment would spur Bush to action. But failing that, make it quick and painless. Hell, the legal work has already been done. We don't need to vilify him, just get him out of the Capitan's chair. (Although I admit that exiling him to Elba has a delightful irony to it... but that's not productive.) The trick is, that Cheny would also need to be impeached as he is maybe the only man left in the federal government who would be more dangerous than Bush. We might count on him to resign instead, as it's unlikely he'd wish to emerge from his secret lair often enough to serve as President. But for expediency, impeach them both at once. It's arguably the same case.

The interesting result of this double whammy could be President Pelosi (wouldn't that just frost Hillary?). Although I think that the realities of political ascension would allow either Cheny or Bush to appoint another V.P. prior to leaving office. But that nominee has to be Senate approved, so it should still amount to a better choice than Bush.

Still, I'm really hoping that merely the threat of impeachment would be a wake-up call to get Bush to move off the dime. I don't even particularly care if he enacts Baker's proposal. However, by his own arguments against the Democrats during the 2004 election, he can't just grouse about how hard it is in Iraq. He needs a plan. He has acknowledged (sorta) that it's not all sunshine and roses over there. So he shouldn't insult the public by simply offering marketable fluffy ideas without substance behind them. If he's got a substantive plan, let's hear it. If not, enact Baker's plan. It can't possibly result in a worse situation than we're in now.

King Me!!

I'm sure you've all been waiting to hear, but I've finally been crowned. Well, temporarily anyway. Despite my irrational fears I went to Dr. Pain today and had my tooth pulverized and recast. It really wasn't as bad as I had imagined, but then that's the beauty of irrational fears. Reality never lives up to the advance billing, so it's all kind of downhill. Just in case, I wore my bright orange Reese's t-shirt to the office on the theory that everyone loves Reese's, and you don't hurt the things you love. It worked too. They were very careful to not damage the shirt. Apparently I can't have chewing gum, taffy, or caramel until I get the permanent crown, but beer and chicken wings are still okay, so I think I'm gonna be alright.

It was awfully sweet of my lovely girl to bring me out some wonderful homemade turkey noodle soup afterwards. Apparently, while chicken noodle is good for colds and flu, turkey noodle cures dental pain (at least there's not much chewing involved). She also advised me that there are four more jars in the freezer, so I suspect it will also cure minor aches and pains, hang nails, and smelly feet. She was very patient and gentle while we waited for my face to thaw. Then we supped the soup. Damn good stuff.

Second Salvation

This is an update to my earlier report on Second Life. I had seen some press references to religion being an increasing use of Second Life. And being Sunday yesterday, I decided to see what I could find. I found an Alm CyberChurch there that holds services on Sunday morning. The people on that "island" are absolutely rabid about it. It's not clear that the experience is significantly different than attending service in front of your TV on Sunday morning. but after the service, the people stay, mill about, and discuss what they heard. That aspect alone distinguishes this from televangelism, and makes it much more powerful. The people there really seemed to enjoy the experience. And I have a suspicion this could really catch on.

I did find some of the discussion a little disturbing, but not too surprising. The theme was basically how it was necessary to be a Christian in order to be a good person. The logic was typical, but wrong:

• Being a true Christian means being a good person.
  
• The good people I know are all Christian.
• Therefore, being Christian is necessary to be good.

That simply doesn't follow. A similar argument would be:

• Being a good strawberry means being sweet and juicy.
• All the sweet and juicy fruit I eat are strawberries.
• Therefore, all sweet and juicy fruit are strawberries.

Clearly, if this is your belief, you need a more varied diet (and probably a remedial math class). I'm coming to believe this is one of the down sides of the U.S. being such a predominately Christian nation. People need exposure to other religions and philosophies. A narrower view is what enables us to get into religious conflicts like Iraq. But that's another rant.

There's also a Methodist Church I found, but no one was there. I also found an after church dance party at a cyber-club. There was line dancing and discussion of religious topics. All quite fascinating. Especially since in SL, you can dance like Travolta and still carry on conversations with the other patrons. From some of the people I spoke with, there is a growing Christian community within Second life.

I didn't find too much evidence of other faiths there, but the search function has been flaky all weekend since the upgrade the host did last week. But I'd be surprised if they have emerged just yet. This is a predominately U.S. and European world at present, and that means mostly Christians.

One other community that seems well entrenched is Gorean culture. This isn't really a religion as much as it is a pseudo SciFi fantasy world. But there is a culture and a philosophy behind it which is really interesting. I stumbled on one such city last week without a clue as to what Gor was all about. It has a primitive feel to it, but is supposed to be culturally enlightened. I'm not sure it really qualifies as that. While there is great complexity and history based on the 20-some novels written about Gor, it's Second Life manifestation seems to be two-fold. There's the warrior aspect. Battles using swords, bows, and staffs, typical of many RPGs. But the other aspect is the whole male/female relationship thing. Gor is a male dominated society, to the extent that many of the women are slaves. According to the novels, only about 3% of women are slaves. The rest are "free", which basically means free to marry and bear children. But in SL, it would seem a vast majority of the women are slaves - by choice. Slaves are not acquired by conquest. A woman must voluntarily submit to a master to become his slave - and they do.

I spoke to one master and it was reasonably clear why guys get into this. There are battles to be fought, drums to beat, and slave girls to acquire. Okay, juvenile to be sure, but it computes. However, I don't get it from the girls' perspective. I spoke to a couple of the master's slaves (with his permission). They do his bidding, which mostly seems to involve dancing for him. Their language is very deferential to him. They do not act without permission, and they always refer to themselves in the 3rd person. (That took a while to acclimate to all by itself.) The two slaves I spoke to said they loved their role and that they had always felt a need to be subservient. But other than this submissive posture, they seemed pretty normal. Maybe these sorts of girls exist out there in greater numbers than I imagine. Minimally, for those who say the feminist movement is dead, it's clear that its work is not quite done yet.