Nicholsclan.com : a dimension of mind...

Failure Is Not an Option

I think the meaning of "Failure Is Not an Option" has changed in our children's generation. Growing up, I always associated that phrase with an unyielding determination to succeed at something. And success was more than just not failing.

Somewhere along the way, "Failure Is Not an Option" morphed to "Don't Worry, Be Happy" in our kids' generation. And very probably, it is our generation's doing. The desire to not fail has become the removal of failure as an option. Whether it is sports, school, music, or even popular games, failure is increasingly rare. Conversely (maybe perversely), success is also growing rare.

While I believe that discouraging kids is a bad thing, and that everyone should have the chance to rise to his or her own potential, I worry that we are raising a generation of coasters. If you remove the fear of failure, and you remove the rewards of success, do you not also remove the incentive to do more than just hang with the pack? And if no one is pushing the envelope, doesn't the performance of the pack as a whole deteriorate over time? I already see this in my kids and their friends. They aren't hungry for anything.

And what about the future for our kids? Will their Hakuna Matata philosophy grow up with them? Will they not have to worry about being fired from jobs, making bad investments, or being dumped by lovers? I somehow doubt that. The real world is not nearly so insular as the bubble in which we've raised our kids. I fear that when the inevitable failures of life befall them, they will react with disbelief and panic. Ultimately, they will hold others responsible. After all, for them, failure was not an option.

Tsunami from Space

Go here for a compelling view of the devastation wrought by the tsunami. There are about 20 before and after pictures taken from orbit. Some of the neighborhoods hit simply do not exist anymore. Wow...

Music of the Night

I've had more culture in the last three days than I have in the last three years. But I suppose it's good for me now and again.

We were in Toronto this past weekend to see Mama Mia. It was really quite good, despite the lead passing out during one of the scene changes. You just don't expect them to announce an understudy coming in during Act 2. But they handled it very professionally and the show went off wonderfully. I admit to being curious how you could make an entire show out of Abba music, but it fell together into a delightful tale. Really enjoyable.

We also took in Tony and Tina's Comedy Wedding while we were there. I doubt this counts as culture, but it was fun. The actors really behave as if they are your friends and family and the interactions can be pretty interesting. It's an entire wedding and reception packed into 2 hours - complete with drunken relatives, family fights, and the chicken dance. I'll admit that I was a bit frightened when Kim conjured up a pretty decent Italian accent and took the groom to task for getting married and not waiting for her. And I got mine when one of the waitresses (they were in character too) came up and asked if I remembered her. I went along and said that she looked familiar, but I couldn't place her. Then I asked if we used to play together when we were little. Without missing a beat she said, "Honey, I wasn't even alive when you were little." Feeling about a hundred years old at that moment, we finally decided that I knew her dad. Fer cryin' in yer beer...

Then last night we went to see The Phantom of the Opera movie. Kim laughed, Kim cried... I had popcorn. I never did see the stage performance, and maybe that was part of it. Perhaps it was also that the tale was well worn, so there really weren't any intriguing plot devices. But I just didn't find the story compelling. The music was great, and I will admit that I keep finding myself mulling the tunes over in my mind today. There were a couple of really good performances by the actors, and the cinematography was great. But the story just seemed to drag. The phantom came off as pitiable, not scary. The only character you cared about was Christine, and you knew she was never in any real danger. Oh well. Perhaps I had just reached my culture threshold...

The Second Term

I didn't think Second Term was as well done as the ones JibJab did during the election, but it's still funny enough to warrant a good look.

You also might want to click on the poster link. It's pretty amusing too.

Next stop: Iran

Oh, THIS is comforting. Not surprising though.

Key quote: "This is the last hurrah - we've got four years and want to come out of this saying we won the war on terrorism."

Old Dog, Old Tricks

Bush seems to be taking the same tactic toward Social Security that he took on Iraq. He's taken a small problem, blown it out of proportion, marshaled the various agencies of the government to reinforce his conclusion, declared a national crisis, and proposed a solution which is widely believed to be more destructive than helpful.

His confidence in this approach was apparently validated as he claimed today that he sees no reason why anyone in his administration should take the blame for anything related to Iraq. After all, he was reelected. The people had a chance to voice their dissent then. Since they reelected him, they obviously approve of what he did. So hell, why not do some more?

After all, Iraq has worked out so very well.

I only hope the people are brighter this time... but I doubt it.

Apparently Korea has Been Spying on Bush's Science Advisors

Exhibiting a desire for controlling your personal life and a complete disregard for science usually only seen in Neo Cons, North Korea has launched this campaign. Now, if they only adopt No Child Left Behind and a firm crusade against gay marriage, we can rest assured that they'll be too morally righteous to nuke us into next week.

Key quote: "It stressed the 'negative effects' of long hair on 'human intelligence development', noting that long hair 'consumes a great deal of nutrition' and could thus rob the brain of energy."

The Pastor's Response

The pastor who was the brunt of my disillusionment from the 1/11 post took the time to reply to me. I've snipped a few of the names, and readers should know that Marietta was my grandmother. Otherwise, this is verbatim. This is what he had to say:

I received your note and regret that you feel as you do. Part of the reason for this is that, although you evidently had some exposure to certain forms of "Christianity", you clearly have no real understanding of what we as a Church Family believe and treasure concerning our great God and Savior. As far as [name removed]'s talk, he was asked [...] specifically to read that particular Bible passage and explain what it teaches, and what Marietta believed with all her heart. I think [name removed] was trying to do the same thing Marietta talked to me about--to communicate one more time to her family and friends the Truth.

You did have a wonderful grandmother. We all loved her! And we rejoice in the absolute confidence that she is with her God and Savior, and will spend eternity serving and worshipping Him.

In response, I offer the following:

You are right that I have never studied the nuances of the Baptists, so perhaps I do not understand how your beliefs and treasured things lead you to a position of refusing my grandmother communion. To my understanding, Luke 22:19 and 1 Corinthians 11:25 seem to saying that partaking of the body and blood of Christ should be a frequent remembrance of your relationship with him. I'm assuming you have another interpretation, or some other conflicting bible reference which you find more important. I'd be interested to learn your reasoning.

As for [name removed], that was merely an annoyance, and I have since learned that there were several others who were also annoyed. I did not take issue with the passage he read, but rather his explanation of it.

The bible recounts Jesus saying, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) However, Romans 10:12 talks about how the Jews are also due god's salvation. [name removed] specifically called out those who worshipped Mohammed and Buddha as unworthy of heaven (and by implication, condemned to hell). First, Muslims don't worship Mohammed. He is not their "Jesus". (Jesus actually shows up in the Qur'an.) Mohammed is a prophet. Muslims worship the same god as the Jews and the Christians. And by even the most rigid interpretation of Romans, that would seem to get their ticket to heaven validated. Buddhists actually don't worship anybody. It is a philosophy, and like many eastern "religions" lacks a central deity. To my knowledge, Buddha doesn't appear in the bible anywhere. And interestingly, Buddhists as well as atheists are not 2nd Commandment violators.

The god of the Old Testament, certainly was portrayed as rather vengeful toward those who rejected him. But I've always viewed the New Testament and the message of the so-called "Good News" as one of hope. Jesus was portrayed as believing there were Christians and there were Opportunities. I believe this is the basis of your evangelical mission. So depending on which parts of the bible are important to Baptists, I can certainly understand their view that at least 47% of the world's population is going to hell. But personally I have a lot of trouble with that level of intolerance.

It is interesting to note that while 33% of the world is currently Christian, there are 34,000 recognized sects of Christianity. And several of those groups are pretty comfortable even condemning the other Christians to hell. I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't envision, nor would he condone, that level of in-fighting.

But bible study aside, I do object to the notion that my grandmother wanted a message of condemnation delivered to her family. She was a kind and accepting woman. She believed what she believed with great fervor. But I can't recall her ever condemning others in any sense. She doubtless hoped that people like me would find a path to the god she held so dear, but she never would have damned us for not being on it.

It felt as if [name removed] did condemn us. I respect his right to that opinion. But I do not accept it as a reflection of my grandmother. And therein lies the rub.

The Brightness Goes Up a Bit

There may be some hope for the nation after all.

Not All Christians Are Created Equal

Below is an excerpt from a letter sent by the pastor of an Assembly of God Church. This is a "born again" congregation which I've alwasy believed to be a little more evangelical and rigid in their beliefs than the Baptists. I may need to rethink that. He has a pretty good answer for how he'd have handled the situation with my grandmother (see post from 1/11). I only wish her pastor had been as enlightened.

I believe that communion is such a special opportunity the Lord has given us to experience and remember His love, and to share that experience with others. Now I can not answer for that pastor's response to a person's request for communion. But I can tell you most definitely I would have made such a visit and I would have done so more than just once. I have already, throughout my ministry, made such pastoral visits to elderly believers who are not on their death bed but can not make it to church.

Years ago I was given a special ministry gift that is a small communion set that is easy to carry with you, about the size of a Bible. It contains a small container for the grape juice/wine and six little glasses for sharing that which represents Christ's blood. There is also a small gold plate for sharing the broken pieces of bread representing Christ's body. The purpose for this kit is to make personal visits with an individual, couple, or even a family and giving them the opportunity to have communion. It can even be for making hospital visits. I share all of that to tell you, that as a pastor, I want to and will provide such opportunities for individuals who make such requests. Many times, before I make a home or hospital visit, I will call ahead and offer it to the person, if they would like communion. I once heard a statement that has taught me how to approach and provide ministry for others, it goes like this -- Jesus did not die on the cross only to make it hard for people to come to His Father. So I will always do my best to help people experience God's love and presence.

Communion is for every person who believes Jesus is God's Son and believes that Christ died on the cross for our sins and rose again so we all would have eternal life. Communion celebrates that confession of faith and scripture commands us to have communion often and every time "in remembrance of Christ" (Luke 22:19; 1 Corinthians 11:25).

Thanks to Kim for soliciting this response.

The Dumbest Nation on Earth

Flush with his lack of success with "No Child Left Behind", Bush announced yesterday that he's launching a similar program for High Schools, which includes $1.5B he doesn't have to fund programs for students performing below grade level. It's touching that he wants to help his peer group, but it's not remotely clear that programs like these are really making a difference in the overall performance of our students.

In other news, Indonesia wants all the foreign military who are there to provide tsunami relief to get out of their country by March - sooner would be better. They have also insisted that our soldiers stay on their ships when not working and are not allowed to be armed. The White House is trying to get to the bottom of this, and all I can wonder is, why? If our help is so damned intrusive, let them do it themselves. I was always taught that when you beg for help or accept volunteers you lose a lot of control over the form that help takes. If you want control, do it yourself or hire the people. We were bullied for not doing enough, and now we're taking grief for not doing it right? Nice...

Christian Confusion

I lost my grandmother last week at the age of 94. I loved her dearly and we had a wonderful service in her honor where several people spoke of the memories and love they shared with her. And judging by all the teary eyes in the silent pews, there was a lot of love unexpressed as well. She touched many lives, and they were all touched deeply by her passing. Everyone should be so lucky as to live such a healthful and meaningful life, surrounded by that many people who care so deeply.

My grandma was a devout Christian woman. She had a confident and comforting faith in her god. And whether you or I believe in heaven is immaterial. She did. And that is where she knew with all her heart that she was going when her last breath slipped from her lips. That inspiration eased her passing. Of that I have no doubt.

As my long-time readers are aware, I myself am an atheist. But that in no way prevents me from feeling joyful that her faith elevated and supported her. It was as integral a part of her as her left ear, and it would have been beyond arrogant for me to suppose that I knew what was better for her. She spent almost a century finding the balance in her life that included that faith. Who was I to upset that scale?

So I was understandably confused by some of the events perpetrated by those who practice, nay lead, her faith. For the past 10 years she has belonged to the local Grace Baptist Church as did my aunt. Just prior to her death she wanted to receive communion, and was told by her pastor that this could not happen. There were nuances of the way his particular sect of Christianity practiced their rituals which prevented him from offering that to her. How horrible. Who was this man to try to reengineer the faith of a dying woman? And to what end? In effect, he told her she was practicing her faith incorrectly. He was attempting to legislate the relationship she had with her god in her final hours. It would seem to me that somewhere along the way this shaman lost sight of his actual purpose, not to mention some of the basic teachings of Jesus. He prioritized his own self-importance over the comfort and solace of one of the flock he is purported to lead. Isn't this the group that is always urging you to ask "What would Jesus do?" Does anybody think Jesus would have told my grandmother to pound rocks when she asked for a ritualistic communion with her god whom she was preparing to meet?

And if that wasn't bad enough, surrounding the overly emotional family moments of the service I have to endure the pastor and some other leading upstanding member of the church standing up and explaining why I'm going to hell. Granted, I don't believe in hell, but the sentiment wasn't appreciated. Besides, he does, so the condemnation was sincere. I have no idea how many others in the audience he also nailed, but he explicitly called out Buddhists and Muslims as hellbound (while inadvertently expressing his ignorance about both of those philosophies), and then threw a more generic blanket around any non Jesus worshippers. In the context of a Christian memorial service it makes sense to comfort the group that the deceased is in heaven. But it seemed unnecessary to condemn the living for good measure.

I may be an atheist, but I tout a philosophy of tolerance and inclusion. I don't judge the beliefs and ideas of others as wrong. Jesus forgave the Jews who murdered him on Calgary. And I am condemned for mourning the loss of my grandmother. Hmmm... I wonder what Jesus would do?

What's Wrong With the World

The winners have been announced for the Wacky Warning Label competition for 2004. It all seems like harmless poking fun, and it is damned amusing.

I worry though that we're eliminating an important Darwinian pruning mechanism within society. People should be encouraged to self-select their way out of the gene pool. No good can come from enabling the continued viability of people who insist on bathing with the same instrument they use to clean the toilet. On the other hand, if they are of hearty enough stock to survive the practice, more power to them.

An Insensitive Point of View

I'm mulling some thoughts that are highly insensitive. Some of them even offend me, and I can't reasonably embrace them as my opinions. Nonetheless, they lurk in the shadows and force me to ponder. I suspect I'm not alone in this, so I'll share them in hopes that some of you may find solace, either in learning you are not alone, or in the certainty that I'm a lunatic.

The recent tsunami in the Indian Ocean was an unimaginable tragedy. They are now counting over 100k people dead. There are whole villages that simply ceased to exist. I'm sure I can't fathom the agony of the survivors. And while my heart goes out to the people, at a political and economic level I can't help but wonder why it's our job to clean this up.

How much aid did Sri Lanka offer us after Florida was battered by 4 successive hurricanes? Did Thailand send rescue teams after 9/11, or even a sympathy card? I suppose we can (and do) argue that we don't need the help. We can take care of ourselves. Those people are less fortunate. Yes, okay, perhaps that's why the U.S. receives so little disaster relief aid. But does that mean we have to supply it? China and India have economies growing much faster than ours, and this occurred in their back yard.

But maybe the world is our back yard. Yet I find that disquieting. Our revised reason for the Iraq War is that bad things were happening and we need to help those people. There is widespread concern about the very real looming threats of Iran and North Korea, and sentiment that we should do something about that as well. Bad things are happening in Dafur. We're not doing much to help those people. Our own education systems and social welfare systems are teetering on the brink of failure domestically. Maybe we should help those folks.

In the end, it seems it all has to come down to priorities. We clearly can't help everybody. Not only are there not enough resources, but in it's logical end-state, you wind up with global communism by redistributing all the wealth. That's a recipe for disaster.

So we have to be able to choose who to help. I have a fear that all too often we (as a country) make decisions about who to help and what to focus on based on headlines and media exposure rather than by making rational choices based on our own self-interest. We don't have a coherent philosophy to follow, so much as an image to protect.

Ironically, a major exception to this is the Iraq War. We went into that war based on self-interest. The problem was that it was the self-interest of the Bushies and not America. It seems there needs to be some sort of benign architect of American political policy. A person or small group that can rationally frame a path forward. Leave the specifics to the "traditional" government, but bound the box. Unfortunately, this cannot be reasonably done by public opinion (which is the current media driven incarnation of democracy), nor can it be done by those seeking personal power and glory (which pretty much takes politicians out of it). While I'm enamored of this concept, I have no idea how to implement it without falling to the all to human frailty voiced by Lord Acton, that power tends to corrupt.

So for now, I'll continue to mull...

The Best of 2004 (?)

In case you missed any of the really hot stories in 2004, click here.