Nicholsclan.com : a dimension of mind...

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So yesterday my boys and I were slated to go ice skating with my girlfriend and her two daughters. I was really looking forward to it, but since I wasn't walking terribly well yet, I had to pass and be a spectator. So while the five of them stumbled their way around the ice on skates, I stumbled around the arena on sneakers. I think I fell more than any of them, but it was good exercise for my back.

We returned to her house afterwards for pizza and a movie where I saw a whole new side of her. I simply had to lie down on the floor and straighten my back. Of course the kids were all down there, and the boys were wrestling each other. Upon entering the room, she quickly snapped into "momma bear" mode and positioned herself to protect me from the kids (mostly mine) so no one bumped me. While perhaps a bit overzealous, it was damned sweet, and it felt good to feel like someone cared that much.

I think it all bodes well for the new year. This has been a year of healing: physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. I feel stronger going into the coming year than any in recent memory. I hope the new year finds you happy as well.

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Well, it's been an exciting holiday season. At least that's the excuse I'm going with for having not written much here. Hopefully, you've been too busy to read it, so we're even.

And as the year draws to a close, I am dealt the classic good news / bad news scenario. You see I threw my back out this past weekend. The good news is that it's been a whole year since I did that last, and it's been close to 10 years since I've gone anywhere near that long without an "episode". The bad news is that dammit I went a whole year!! I thought I was all better!!

So in uncharacteristic fashion, I immediately (well, on Monday) try to get an appointment with the physical therapist who got me on my feet a year ago. Mind you, it's December 29th, and I need a referral. So I start by calling my insurance company to find out if I have enough PT visits left to be treated on 2003. No problem there, just make sure the referral gets filed. Okay, so I call my doctor and explain to her nurse's voice mail that I want the referral. So far so good. I get a call back within the hour, she's willing to send the referral if I just call her back with the therapist's fax number. Hey, this sounds easy. So I call the therapist's office, and it starts to get scary. They can see me at 12:30, but before then I need to have the doctor fax them a continuation of my earlier referral. But wait... since I was "discharged" from the earlier treatment, the new referral needs to be a continuation, but with a new diagnosis. And then they also need a 2004 referral because they all expire at year end. For cryin' out loud. Has it occurred to anyone that medical costs are so high because for every minute of medical treatment you receive there's about 90 minutes of paperwork to be filed?

But the upshot is that the therapy appears to again be effective. My son couldn't understand why I had to pay somebody to "beat me up", but the short term pain is worth it if it gets my butt straightened out. My boss was intrigued that someone had figured out a way to straighten me out, and asked if she could consult with the therapist as well. And I also got a new "bed buddy" out of the deal. Honest, that's what it's called. It's just a strap-on microwavable hot pack - which is not nearly as interesting as the name implied it might be.

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So I'm in Texas this morning. You know, the people that brought you phrases like "all y'all", and a culture proud of its hard line stance on justice. Motto: Try 'em, Fry 'em, Let God sort 'em out. So I pick up a Dallas paper at the hotel to read on the flight home. The major story on the local section is some poor former school teacher who was a local representative for a Tupperware type company. The only twist is, that the plastic she sells tends to require batteries, a little warm oil and vibrates. You see, she holds "parties" in women's homes for all their friends to buy "marital aides". Okay, maybe a little silly. I can almost picture the shy giggly women enjoying a little covert naughty fun, and maybe pleasantly surprising their significant others later that night. It all sounds pretty harmless.

Well apparently the local constabulary sent in undercover officers to raid this den of sin, and the former school teacher was arrested. It seems that while owning or using vibrators is perfectly legal, selling them is not. Well, not quite. You can sell them as long as they are sold as "novelties" or as "educational models". That's legal. However, if you actually sell them for the purpose for which they were designed, then that's a crime. It seems that "selling a device for the express purpose of stimulating the nether regions of the human body" is illegal. And that was the actual quote from the law book.

Now we all know that there are tons of archaic laws on the books, and most often they are just ignored. However, the local DA seems adamant that he will prosecute this woman. In a town where adult book stores openly sell the same products as "novelties", this woman may wind up with a criminal record for spicing up her friend's marriages. Truth is really stranger than fiction. Makes me wonder if maybe she flunked the DA's kid in school or something. I guess it's also a good thing I didn't start writing this until I was out of the state. For all I know it's illegal to be a smart-ass there as well.

And as I'm writing this on the plane, the kid next to me is thumbing through his pocket bible while clutching his tickets. I'm not sure what to make of that. He might just be nervous. Then again, he may be reading over my shoulder and praying I'll go back to Texas someday so they can 'fry me proper like'.

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Occasional poster Kim made a really interesting observation which I think is worthy of a post.

Rummy said that Saddam was to be treated as a POW. Okay, but didn't we make a huge deal about our POW's being trotted out on camera and shown off to the world like trophies? So why was is okay to show Saddam's medical exam and post pictures of his disheveled self all over the TV?

Sure, it's understandable why we did it, but it's a bit hypocritical, don't you think?

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Apparently the movement to pass a constitutional amendment to allow foreign born citizens to become President is gaining momentum due to Ahhhnold. Give me a break. While I can rationalize that there are certainly foreign born citizens who ought to have the job, the notion that the prospect of a Schwarzenegger Presidency is giving this life is appalling enough to make me rethink my emigration to Canada. As a country, could we possible appear any more intellectually deficient? Perhaps we should amend the amendment to also allow Muppets to hold office. After all, Elmo is pretty popular.

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Just cool... One down, one to go.

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I find myself in the awkward position of having to defend Bush's statement on the Haliburton gas gouge scandal. But I'm man enough to do it. If you missed it, Haliburton was found to be changing our/their government over $2 per gallon for gasoline costing it less than a dollar. Bush said simply that if the allegations are true, then Haliburton should repay. Further, he's taking credit for finding the problem rather than accepting guilt for having allowed it to occur in the first place.

I'm not inclined to attribute this to the corruption created by no-bid contracts or some attempt by Cheney to squirrel extra cash out of the government. It's tempting to do that, and many in the press are. However, we have to remember that this same government (and not just the neo-con incarnation of it) is famous for paying $400 for a hammer. Most any company tries the same gouging tactics. This is caveat emptor at its capitalistic best. Mind you, I'm not defending the greed or the underhanded billing practices. I'm just saying that Haliburton is no more guilty than the countless other government contractors who have practiced the same tactics since the dawn of time.

Bush (or the government in general) should be taking credit for finding this. But at this point we can't hang Haliburton out to dry for it unless we are prepared to hunt out and punish all the other violators.

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Well then, just how do you make chicken salad?

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The National Smirk-off seems a sure thing to pass now that Gore has jumped behind Democratic front runner Howard Dean. I'm not sure I can bear watching Bush and Dean alternately smirk at me during every commercial break for the next year. I guess maybe I'll have to watch less TV - or just get up and get a beer more often. I'm thinking that maybe Rev. Al should switch to an independent and run on the no-smirk platform.

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The administration took a swat at France, Germany, and Russia today by barring them from bidding on $18.6 billion in Iraqi reconstruction contracts. I guess I should just be grateful the contracts were not automatically awarded to Haliburton. Nonetheless, while I think the wrist slap is amusing and certainly appropriate, I'm also wondering why anyone outside the U.S. gets to bid. After all, this is $18.6 billion of OUR tax dollars. It's bad enough we are paying to rebuild the place. Why should we pump that money into yet another country as oppossed to our own economy? What's wrong with reinvesting it here?

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You'd think he'd hurt himself talking out both sides of his mouth like that, but he's unfortunately just fine.

Bush took a break for his busy schedule spouting rhetoric about how democracy is just what is needed in the Middle East, to issue a stern warning to Taiwan against voting for a referendum calling for its independence from communist China. I guess democracy isn't just what they need. Perhaps we could invade Taiwan first. Then I'll bet they'd need democracy.

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And in case you haven't finished your holiday shopping yet...

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At last... a watch worth taking up space on your wrist.

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Sometimes my head just hurts. On Friday it was announced that James Baker was tapped to lead a campaign to get Iraq out from under a "crushing $120 billion debt"

Bush had this to say about it: "The future of the Iraqi people should not be mortgaged to the enormous burden of debt incurred to enrich Saddam Hussein's regime."

But apparently the American people should be mortgaged to the enormous burden of debt incurred to enrich the Bush regime? Has anyone told George that we have a $7 trillion debt? That in the 4th quarter of this year it has risen a steady $2.12 billion per DAY!! Do the math. There are 120 days in a quarter which meanes that we have incurred double the total debt of the Iraqis just since October.

C'mon... how stupid are we suppossed to be? This debt is stimulating our economy, but crushing theirs? Granted, the situations are different, but the economic levers don't operate differently, just at different scales.

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I'm thinking I need a new hobby...

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Bumper sticker of the day:
"Let's not elect him again in 2004"

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I was passing through La Guardia airport a couple of days ago when one of those mini bill boards caught my eye. The sign read, "God created woman. After a few hundred million years practice, he made yours."

I had to look again to even get it. A second glance spotted the diamond ring and the meaning began to sink in. I smiled as it did. The sentiment was kind of clever, and definitely unique.

Then the logic violation warning klaxons began to sound. A few hundred million? That many years ago, dinosaurs ruled the Earth and mammals max'ed out at the size of a beaver. God was apparently still in the very rough draft stage.

Now for creationists, not only was the timetable off by several hundred million years, but God's fallibility was brought into play. And then the whole idea of using God's name for commercial purposes. Lots of violations there.

And women... the sign clearly had a tone of ownership. "He made yours." That ought to annoy feminists and/or independently minded women who are opposed to the notion that they exist as an extension of a man. And quite a few men who don't feel women are chattel either.

So exactly who are the diamond people trying to sell to? All that's left are men who aren't too Christian, aspire to own a woman, and have a really bad handle on science. And as I walked along the concourse it occurred to me that this was probably an uncomfortably large portion of the population.

Maybe they know their market after all...

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I've been mulling over my reaction to Bush's trip to Iraq for Thanksgiving. From the troops' perspective, I think it was a wonderful gesture. I'm sure it boosted morale, and even those who weren't there to see him personally are certainly hearing about it through the grapevine. On the other hand, it certainly feels more like a calculated political campaign publicity tactic. And that's bad form and an abuse of taxpayer dollars as much as the carrier landing was earlier this year.

The stealth surrounding the trip was understandable. Even G.W. isn't naive enough to think Iraq is a stable and secure place, and a well publicized landing of Air Force One would have certainly drawn a 21 shoulder-fired missile salute from the insurgents. But it's the following statement which ultimately makes me believe this had nothing to do with the troops.

This CNN report detailing the timetable of the trip noted, "On his way home, Bush tells reporters that he would not have made the trip if the press had not been able to accompany him, but he says he had been ready to cancel the journey if the story leaked and security was threatened. "

In other words, if the people back home weren't going to get a first hand detailed photographic account of Bush demonstrating what a great guy and supporting leader he is, then he ain't goin'. Given all the stealth planning already in play, getting out of the country with no press support shouldn't have been too hard. Further, the Iraqi grapevine would have better carried morale inducing stories to the troops than the press ever would have. Eventually, the news would have leaked to the press anyway. Soldier's personal snapshots would have made the front page. But how much better would it have looked for Bush to be sheepishly "outed" for this trip? He could have at least feigned that he didn't do this for publicity, but rather for the troops. How much better of a message would that have been to the citizens and soldiers alike?

But instead, it was just more of, "Hey y'all, watch this!!"