- Tyler's Kindergarten class was discussing teeth this week. You know... how Tommy
the Toothbrush keeps Timmy the Tooth healthy... that sort of thing. Tyler announces
to the class that he wishes he were a baleen whale because they don't have these sort of
problems. The quick thinking teacher asks if any kinds of whales do have teeth which
might need brushing. "Oh sure, there are toothed whales like the Killer Whale
and the Sperm Whale," announces the budding Cetacean Biologist. "But they
can't brush their teeth because their finger bones have turned into flippers."
- Daddy's getting the boys in their jammies and Tyler's in the mood to talk. He's
already changed while his poky 3 year old brother is just beginning to strip. Tyler
asks if we can talk about muscles. He wants to know their names, and how they pair
up. He's dead serious. We start naming names: biceps and triceps; quadriceps
and hamstrings, deltoids and lats. He's glued to the conversation like your paperboy
to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition. Meanwhile Doug has finally found the
state of naked. He walks between us, sticks his butt out right in his brother's
face, points to it, and with perfect pronunciation says, "This is MY gluteus
maximus."
- The other night we all went to a local greasy spoon known as Abe's. It's a cute
little place done in log cabin motif with Abe Lincoln decorations everywhere. I get
the log cabin's connection to the Great Emancipator, but what this has to do with
cheeseburgers and onion rings eludes me. Nonetheless, it's a great place to take the
kids (meaning it's indestructible and they serve french fries), and we have developed a
pretty regular routine. Carol takes the kids to find a table while I place our
regular order. On my way to join them I stop at the condiment bar and get two
plastic cups full of pickles which keep the boys busy while we wait. The boys
promptly inhale about a dozen dill chips each and then do a shooter of pickle brine.
(Doug started this practice and Ty just winces and drinks so he's not left out. I
figure it's good training to survive fraternity hazing in years to come.) So far,
it's dinner as usual. But dinner isn't here, the pickles are gone, and Doug grows
rapidly bored. You could see the light in his eyes as he perked up, looked at Tyler
and said, "Hey Tyler, teach me some math." Ty started quizzing addition and
subtraction. Fortunately the place wasn't real crowded, but a young couple with a
little baby kept staring at our table with concerned looks on their faces.
This was just this last week. This was not an unusual week. Games of 20
questions often involve questions like are you a mammal, or are you herbivorous?
Last night Tyler was a plesiosaurus. I guessed it on question 7.
I don't know where they get this from. I just hope they begin to read before they
perfect cold fusion.
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